And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” - Mark 12:41-44
The woman barely has anything - at least by the world's standards - but in giving what she does have to Jesus, she is honored by him. The example in this passage is the sacrifice of monetary wealth and yes, it should encourage us to give of our finances no matter how "small" the gift seems. However, in this season of life, the story holds an additional meaning for me.
You see, I'm now the mother of not one but two wonderful, needy, beautiful, energy-sucking little people, ages 2 and half years and 6 weeks. This season is hard and it's unique. Once upon a time I could wake up a couple of hours before my 10 am class to dig deep in the word and commune with God without even a real possibility of distraction. The same afternoon when my classes were done, I could sit in a coffee shop for while and read commentaries, work on a Bible study, and journal my deepest thoughts and longings to the Lord. I got a real job and got married, and while my free-time diminished, there was still ample opportunity in the morning and especially on the weekends to spend quality time in the Word and prayer.
Then I had a kid... Then two kids... And let me tell you, it's a whole different ballgame.
I am up a couple of times in the middle of the night, as well as bright and early to feed the newborn. My toddler wakes shortly after the baby is fed, full of energy and ready to play. (He also recently dropped a consistent nap, so we're talking no break most days until bedtime.) Needless to say, getting up before the kiddos to spend time alone with God is just hard if not impossible at this point. A lot of times I'm not even able to use the bathroom by myself much less practice solitude and silence before the Creator. So what do I do? What can I do? I give God what I have.
I spend one nightly nursing session working through my prayer list. If baby girl wakes up again (sometimes it's only once- praise!) then I spend the other reading a short devotional. I pray for the day during the 7 am feeding, and read through my Bible in a Year plan over breakfast with the family. If both kids happen to take a nap, then I try to work on my current study - just finished up 1 John with my Discipleship group and am now studying Titus with my husband. If I miss out on something, I try to do it before going to sleep that night.
Now, is this plan ideal? Absolutely not. I'm often nodding off during the nursing sessions, the toddler is talking to me and playing and asking me a hundred questions while I'm reading. The nap time studies are hit or miss and often end up being done with Daniel the Tiger or Thomas the Train blaring in the background. By the time I get in bed at night, my brain is shot and it's honestly just really hard to engage with the Lord the way desire. Even as I type this, the baby is eating (#skillz). Is the Lord pleased though? I think that He is.
Sometimes it's hard for me to say that, but this passage gives me confidence. In this season of mothering young children, I simply don't have a ton of time or energy to give to Bible Study, prayer, meditation, and journaling. I just don't. But what I do have, I can give. It might be easier to say, "Well, I don't have an hour to really dig into this text, so just forget it" or "There's no way I'll actually finish my Bible in a Year plan by December 31, so why start?" But that's not what the Lord calls us to. He wants our first fruits, and sometimes those fruits look like 1 am devotionals or reading Exodus with a toddler hanging on your back. That's ok. Those are my 2 coins right now - and by the grace of God, I'll give Him all I have.
I don't do it because it earns me anything, but because Jesus has already given all he had on my behalf. In the end, the chunks of time I devote to knowing him more and just enjoying his presence aren't really even a sacrifice. They are life and they are joy.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. - Psalm 16:11
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