We're in a weird season. Still support-raising but already ministering; moved into
our new home but away for a month; mom and dad of a 7-month old but figuring
out the parenting thing one day at a time. It's a strange place, and while the
comparison breaks down (rather quickly), I couldn't help but draw parallels
with "the wilderness" we read about in Deuteronomy 8.
And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these
forty years in the wilderness, that he might
humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would
keep his commandments or not. And he
humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know,
nor did your fathers know, that he might
make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every
word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. –Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (emphasis
mine)
The entire context is not quoted here, but
in this discourse, Moses reminds the Israelites of their identity. They were
chosen by Yahweh. They had been freed from Egypt and were slowly but
surely making their way to the land of Canaan, the inheritance promised to
Abraham and his offspring. Nonetheless the outcome looked bleak as the people
wandered and hungered and thirst in the wilderness, and it should come as no surprise
they were complaining about the predicament God had placed them in. As usual
this is a teaching moment that Moses seizes – there was a purpose for their
forty years in the wilderness, and there’s a purpose for ours too.
Right now it feels like we’re in the wilderness. No, we aren't physically hungry and while it’s hot in Fort Walton, it’s not Middle East
desert hot. But we do feel like we’re
wandering – things are unfamiliar, stress can be high, and there are definitely
times when we question the Lord’s goodness and doubt His promises to us.
But there’s manna.
It seems like each day the Lord is giving us just what we need to
get by – no more and no less. At my best (i.e., Spirit-filled) moments I am
grateful and openly praise God for His provision. At my worst (i.e., fleshly)
moments I am a modern-day Israelite who whines and complains and wants to go
back to Egypt where there was seemingly plenty of meat and drink on the table.
But there’s more manna.
An encouraging note here, a car to borrow there, a volunteer babysitter,
a memory verse that couldn't be more appropriate- over and over the Lord dishes
it out, and I have my fill. Sometimes it’s sweet and satisfying and I feel
content. Other times it only makes me want more, and I feel an abominable sense
of gluttony welling up inside, angry that there’s no “feast” I feel entitled to
have as the elder brother.
But there’s manna.
A heaven sent, glory-filled, profoundly simple morsel of love that
is exactly what I need according to my Father’s plan. Not only does it feed me,
but it teaches me. I do not need the blessings of God, I need God Himself. His Word.
Communion. The Church. It humbles me and tests me, graciously exposing my sin
so that I can repent (yet again) for putting my trust in the gifts instead of
the Giver. Lord, have mercy on this prodigal daughter.
There will come a time when we feast again, perhaps in an earthly
way and perhaps not. But a banquet is coming, and until then the manna will
nourish this hungry soul. Look up, look around, and let it nourish you too.
And the manna ceased the day after they ate of
the produce of the land. And there was no longer manna for the people of
Israel, but they ate of the fruit of the land of Canaan that year. - Joshua 5:12
No comments:
Post a Comment